It is hard to believe that I have been at New Staff Training for almost two weeks. It has gone by pretty fast, but has been incredibly amazing.
My favorite part has been the graduate seminary classes we have been taking. It has been so revolutionary for me to be able to connect to the Lord with my mind in such deep, consistent ways. It has challenged me, but I am so thankful.
The people have been incredible. No complaints, other than the girls from Missouri who spent an hour telling me all their horror stories about tornadoes right after I told them I could get sent there. It was their way of encouraging me to come! Well, they did list all kinds of "really great" reasons and then mentioned the tornadoes.
Tonight was the night that they revealed our placements for the next several years. It involved a process of getting an envelope, opening it by yourself and then maintaining a period of silence. They wanted us to have time to process our placement with the Lord before talking to people about it. I opened my envelope and read these words: "Amy, after prayerful consideration, we are pleased to communicate to you your placement at to be determined." Yep, my placement has not been determined.
The build up over the last few days of all of us preparing to find out our placements led to a bit of disappointment in my heart when I read what I did. It was so anti-climatic. And afterward I had a discussion with my brother about how he thinks Missouri might be the best placement for me (of course I am hoping for Colorado). It was helpful for perspective, but left me in a place where I am really just going to have to depend on the Lord.
It might be a few weeks before I find out my placement. In the meantime I can't just sit around wondering, worrying, and trying to read into things. Instead, I need to discipline myself to rest in the Lord, knowing that He is good. Did I mention there are tornadoes in Missouri?