Friday, June 30, 2006

Make My Brain Work!

Last night I went to a new Bible Study. Since I have been home from Mexico I haven't been to a single Bible Study. I don't think you have to be involved in a study to go to heaven, but I do think community is vital for growth and walking with the Lord. And I have missed community deeply!! So, I went to this new church, got a list of their Bible Studies and last night I went.

From the minute I walked in the door I felt at home. They were so warm and welcoming I nearly forgot I was the new person! We had a two hour discussion on Luke 9:18-27 and then sat around just talking for an hour after that! My brain was so pleased that I had finally put it in a situation where it needed to be stretched (the discussion was a bit over my head) and my heart was so full just being around these people. I love being in a place where you know without a doubt that every person around you is walking closely with the Lord. Oh, my heart is just so full.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

sad news about harry potter

i have some sad news. i read about an interview that j.k. rawling participated in, during which she shared a bit about book 7 in the series. she said that two characters will die, and she would not deny or affirm if harry was one of them! she alluded to the fact that she didn't want anyone else to be able to write about harry after she died. go on, cry a little if you need to, i understand.

here is a picture from when busta kappa had it's reunion last friday! what fun to be surrounded by such fun, encouraging girls! and, in case you haven't heard yet, miss carrie holmlund is getting married! YAY!!! we are SO excited for the first busta kappa wedding!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Panera Bread

This picture is from our little adventure last Friday :). Use your imagination to figure out what we may have done with our dummy...I'll just give you clues that it involved 7 people, a trailer park, and a large truck...

Well, today I decided to not go to the offices and instead spend the entire day working on ministry partner development (MPD). I quickly became distracted at home and so thought it would be a GREAT idea to go to Panera Bread to work. I got lunch first, then spent some time with the Lord and THEN decided to get to work. As soon as I busted out my stuff a dear friend noticed me and came over to sit with me while she ate. I haven't seen her in probably a year and so treasured the time with her, I just didn't get any work done. So Sonja left and I settled in to work (now 2.5 hours after I arrived). I started up my computer and Anna Sanchez was online so we im'd and decided to set up a barbecue for Bustakappa. That involved planning the details, and then calling all seven other girls in order to invite them. So, an hour later we had made our plans and I once again set my mind to work. Then, very kindly, an employee came to tell me they needed the table for a reservation. So I left, without getting a single thing done, yet I had more peace in my soul than I have had in a long time.

Not only did seeing a friend, planning a party and eating a good lunch bring my spirits up, but my time with the Lord was the sweetest I have had in a long, long time. I start each of my times with Jesus by reading five psalms. (If you read five a day, you get through all 150 each month) Today was 96-100. Some days I breeze through them and go on to other things, but other days, like today, I get stuck and spend an hour there. Psalm 96:1 (yes, I got stuck on the very first verse I read) says something along the lines of "sing a new song to the Lord, all the earth...". The next few verses give reasons to sing a new song to the Lord.

So I read that and started to think about how this applies to my life. What is my old song, if I'm supposed to sing a new song? What is the new song? So I went back and read through my journal and tried to summarize my "song". I realized that all I talk to the Lord about is how He can better my life. "Please change my heart...please change these circumstances...please bring good things to my life..." You get the picture. I wrote out a new song to the Lord, and it goes like this: "Praise you, father, for you are good...thank you for all you have done...thank you for being good and sovereign...let me shout to the world, telling them your glory...". I had never realized how self centered my old song had become. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking the Lord for good things, but how much more is my heart satisfied when I focus on Him instead of my needs?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

random thoughts on action words

The last few weeks I have begun Ministry Partner Development full time. As I entered into this process I was full of hope. I couldn't wait to see what the Lord was going to do - and I was fully confident that He would provide! In fact, I was so confident that I asked Him to provide and didn't think about it again. It took me several weeks to even get my first set of letters out to potential ministry partners. Now I am starting to see the reality of having no support - i.e. I did not receive my last paycheck because I didn't have enough money in my account. Now, the Lord did provide for every need I had, in incredible ways! But my eyes were opened, once again, to the disease of my heart.

I went so quickly from trusting the Lord to using the Lord. My mindset slipped into not even praying about my support, because He would provide. Today I was driving home from the offices, thinking about all of this, and it hit me. Trusting and waiting are actions. Trusting the Lord does not mean ignoring a problem because He will take care of it. It means spending hours before His throne, allowing Him to transform me, pleading with Him to accomplish what He has promised. Waiting on the Lord does not mean sitting quietly until something happens. Waiting on the Lord means humbling my heart, crying out to Him and allowing Him to make me more like Him in the process.

Psalm 27 cleared a lot of this up for me.

13I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. 14Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD

I want my heart to be strong and courageous! And to me, a courageous heart stands boldly before the Lord, allowing Him to make me new and more like Himself! I want to wait well, I want to trust well.