Mrs. Potter
by Lori Chaffer

Mrs. potter has a house on the corner where she sits and polishes her old silver plates
And she rocks in her chair alone singing songs of old and she wonders where did the time go

Mr. baker owns a grocery store where he’s worked for a few decades or more
and he tells all his patrons his stories and gives advice
and he wishes them all a good life

And oh in the twilight before the dawning the sun sets beautiful
And oh the moon is rising I swear it’s smiling it’ll turn your frown upside down

Little billy has a fancy toy car
Someday when he’s older he wants to be a star but for now all his
Dreams are as real as that car
And he’s happy cause life is ahead of him now

There’s a destitute poet who lives down the street
His words are fairly simple but to him they sound sweet
And the marrow of life is what he writes about
The well of words he’s dug’s so deep he can’t get out
And the weight of his message pulls the corners of his mouth

And he says oh it’s hard to take life lightly when you have time to look around
And oh the neighbors sighing, you know they're smiling cause you know what he's talking about

There’s a doctor with a scalpel in his hand
and he cuts the hearts and wallets of each rich and poor man
And he wants to quarantine the tragedy from life
‘Cause no one else has time

There’s an actress who lives next door and when she’s on stage it’s kind of like a war
But she won’t blame anybody for the way it is and she wonders how she’ll feel when the show ends

‘Cause the play’s too long to take too somberly and it’s too short to be a comedy
It's hard to change roles from stage to stage

But oh in the twilight before the dawning the sun sets beautiful
And oh the moon is rising I swear it’s smiling it’ll turn your frown upside down

It'll turn your frown upside down

i need a digital camera. my profile picture is THREE YEARS OLD and therefore, i need a digital camera.

today i feel blah.

tonight i ate ice cream and talked with chris and his mom about everything under the sun for an hour or so. it ended up being a time of them sharing how Jesus answered prayer and about the seeds of their faith. story after story of them trusting God for big things and Him providing. then they asked me stories from my life and i shared a few and my heart was full.

there are times when it is hard to live here and things are awkward and i get insecure. but then there are times like tonight when people are asking me questions about my heart and i am getting to share about ways the Lord has impacted my life and i just feel so loved. this is a moment when i really don't want to go to missouri.

chris and erin have welcomed me into their home, their hearts, and their family and they will be terribly hard to leave. it is amazing how healing a little love can be.

on another note, i am going to greeley tomorrow! i have two support appointments and then i'm having blt's with the fam for dinner. woohoo!

World Spins Madly On

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you’d gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I’m standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on
I thought of you and where you’d gone
And the world spins madly on.

WATERWORLD!

I need you!

Often three year old Hartlee, who I live with now, will say "Amy, I need you" but then won't actually need me. It is her way of saying "I love you". She just doesn't quite have the communication skills for that yet! It's really cute!

I, however, both love you and need you ;)

Please pray for these things:

-that God would bring people my age into my life here in Denver to hang out with
-for my support to come in quickly
-that I would work diligently on my support
-that life would settle into "normal" - it just feels so unsettled right now

Thank you friends!

2 Peter

Have you ever read 2 Peter?

I read it through for the first time a few weeks ago and loved it. Now, that happens a lot to me, I read something and love it. But then usually the next time I go back to it the excitement is gone.

So a few weeks ago I read 2 Peter for the second time. And again I loved it. Now I can't stop reading it. I have tried to use tools from our Bible Study Methods class this summer to tear into it and get great stuff from it - but that gets boring right away. Instead, I just keep reading it and reading it and reading it. It is so good! Something about it draws me ... I think it screams of freedom and hope and walking with God and truth and I just love it.

Just wanted you to know.

well, here we are

I am sitting at Panera, my office, "working" on support. More like checking my email, drinking some tea, talking with Meehee on Skype, making eye contact with the cute guy behind the counter, and THEN I will make support calls.

I am officially home from New Staff Training. I came home Thursday night, late, and then spent all weekend alone because the Layne's were camping. It was good to be alone after a summer in the dorm, surrounded by 50,000 people. But at the same time, I'm such a verbal processor and overall extrovert that being alone for four days straight about did me in. And when the Layne's got in I was a bit overwhelmed (not sure why yet) so I decided to come here to Panera to "work" on support. I really will, I promise.

You might be wondering "how does Amy feel about going to Missouri?". That is a great question. Thanks for caring and asking.

Well, first of all, I am SO excited about the team. I spent some time this summer with several people on the team and I think it is really a great placement for me. It seems that everyone on the team has walked through similar things I have and that their desire for health is parallel to mine. And, after talking to them about the ministry, it seems as though students in Springfield are very similar to students at UNC. The culture seems very laid back and friendly, pretty open to the Gospel today.

I am not excited about moving to Missouri. It is 13 hours from home, hot, humid, my bread will mold faster, a different time zone, away from ANYONE that I know ... different. But I trust that when it comes time to move there my heart will have changed. You could probably pray for that.

So that's how I feel about Missouri.

I went to a new church today. I found it on the internet last night and I think I liked it. Here are my observations:

• I saw no one close to my age but MANY people close to my parents age. Enough said about that.
• I was the only one there in a tank top. My home church tends to be a bit more liberal then most (it's in Boulder, after all) so I figured I should wear a tank top instead of a strapless dress since I've never been to this church before. Apparently everyone else thought long sleeves would be better. Oops. Then I just went with it and played the role of "lost sinner wanders into a church" and flashed my tattoos just to confirm my depravity to them.
• The teaching was amazing. The teacher was a guest speaker...hmmmm. He talked about the need to carry our cross in order to be disciples, but that in order to be successful in "carrying our crosses" we must be connected to the power of Christ and also the community of believers. This is something I am passionate about...authentic living. So if this is something the church is all about then I'll go there. Unfortunately, this was a guest speaker, so who knows. I'll go back next week to hear the head pastor talk.
• If I was not a believer I would have turned around and walked out the minute I got in there. Nothing appealed to me, in fact everything seemed really fake and starchy. Now, don't hear me wrong, there are probably tons of people who need to know Jesus who would be drawn by the people there and the feel of the church. I just don't know those people. It makes me want to throw up when I think about lost people walking into 90% of the churches in America because we are all so fake! Grrrr, I have no answer to this, and really no well formed thoughts, I'm just rambling.

I think that's it. I'm going to go back next week to get a better feel.

Well, I guess that's it. Thanks for reading my "verbal" processing. Back to "work"...

thankful

[missouri state university

ginger ale

a shower

getting to sleep in a bit

seeing kelly & bruce henderson

hugs from meehee

"free" food in the dorm

a relaxing day yesterday

vision for ministry partner development

erin is coming up today

emily bastine

going to lafayette with emily bastine]

Today is Monday. I am thankful this Monday because I am here, in Fort Collins, with 9,000 other Campus Crusade for Christ staff members. I am going to go eat breakfast now. :)

tomorrow i might post pictures

I don't have a digital camera. SOOOO, you can either send me one or be patient and wait for pictures. :)

Everyone else up here has pictures I can steal and put up here, so hopefully soon I can show you guys new, exciting things in my life.

Until then, I just wanted to let you know that I got my placement and it is...


Missouri State University, in Springfield, Missouri!

Waiting

I still don't have a placement....and I'm starting to think it might be awhile before I know. The difficult thing is that the choice is between a school I really don't want, a school I want, and a school I would settle for. I want to be able to process and create vision for where I am going, but I just can't yet. Most other new staff have been given their placement and are getting excited, deal with disappointments, etc. I am stuck in this limbo and I don't like it.

BUT

What I know to be true about walking with the Lord is that the process is more important than the end result. There are truths to be learned in this time of waiting, and some I'm sure I won't realize I learned until weeks from now. The biggest thing I can see in the middle of it is that my view of God is being challenged (which is a good thing). I realize that I see God as angry at me, disappointed in me, given up on me, and overall just doesn't like me. It feels like I am a leftover, mediocre missionary that He is trying to find a place for because He has to, not because He is delighting in me. And seeing all of these things means that I get to hand them over to Him and allow Him to speak Truth into my life - whisper glimpses of His unending, deep, overwhelming love for me.

Also, I can't find anything here that comforts me...people and things fall short...so I'm forced to cling to Him. Which is exactly where I want to be.

So, with all that said, I am still just waiting. I should find out soon. Please pray for my patience with the people involved in the process and with the people here who are just trying to walk through it with me. I keep getting so defensive and bickery with people, and I know it's just a result of what is going on in my heart.

We have two fairly big projects due tomorrow that I need to work on instead of blogging. But I am grateful because everyone around here has gone somewhere to work on theirs, so I'm home alone and have Christmas music playing. Sometimes I just need to play some Christmas music to cheer up my spirit.